The Value of One's Word

What's in a word? There's the sounds that compose the words (which linguists call phonemes), there's the letters that spell the word. There's also the history of the word (etymology), and the setting (time, place, social situation, surrounding words, genre) (or pragmatics), both of which help to contribute to the all around feeling of the word (connotation), and finally, its meaning to each unique mind with relation to all of the above (semantics). (NOTE: the links for these aren't mere Wikipedia articles. I did my research and the links are interesting!)

We also are quite aware that words have some type of power, beyond just the two-dimensional meaning of each word. Words themselves have not only referents outside themselves ("ring" refers to that thing you put on your finger) but can be used abstractly to refer to a whole world of complex and emotionally powerful meanings (follow the ring example?).

And when such impactful words are strung together to form more complex ideas, meaning can increase exponentially. When my family became members of my childhood church, the Pastor asked us a series of questions about our beliefs and intentions. By answering "I will"--just two simple words that apart from one another and this context have much less meaning--we declared our commitment and devotion to these things. There's a certain amount of aether involved, a level of the invisible that gets wrapped up in such words.

It is quite curious that, especially in religious or spiritual contexs, declaring our intent comes with such an expectation that what has been declared will be done to the highest efforts of the declarer. Such is the definition of a promise. (Oxford American Dictionary puts it: "A declaration or assurance that one will do a particular thing, or that guarantees that a particular thing will happen.") And should the promise be about a position or role that we are to assume, we call it a vow. (OAD: a solemn promise, (vows) a set of such promises committing one to a prescribed role, calling, or course of action). Should these promises involve an invocation of a god as witness or enforcer, we call it an oath.

What bothers me is the mutability of such oaths, especially today (divorce rate projected at something like 50%, and higher among religious Christians). In 1867, there was one divorce for every 35.9 marriages. Today (2000), that's at about one for every 2.46. So what kind of magic was in the words of all those married before? Was it male-dominated society's stranglehold over divorce laws? Probably had something to do with it. Could there have been the effect of conservative religious views? Perhaps. May it have been a higher level of duty and resposibility over today's rampant individualism? That's possible, too. A million other factors could be involved.

But there could also be something else involved; could it be that we no longer attatch such divine importance on our commitments? When I say I'll be at so-and-so's gathering on Friday night, I don't invoke a celestial witness. Even if my interlocutor depended upon me being there, and expected that I would, I'd say the same thing: "I will". I'd say it with the intention to do it. And were I to say this in a Church, nothing would change. I wouldn't worry that people were going to overhear me saying that and then find out that I wasn't there and say, "but you promised before God!"

Whatever the case, my generation has very few qualms with going back on one's word, especially if it doesn't hurt anyone directly; I no longer am "willing to give of their time, abilities, and resources to support the various church interests, according to their ability." But that doesn't bother me at all. I didn't say, "I will," with any more conviction than when I say "I wil" finish my homework before Monday." I intend to do it, but if something comes up that supersedes the desire to execute that action, I will go back on my word.

So what is it that gives certain I will's so much meaning, so much expectation, and so much...oath-iness? Is it the sea of religious people watching us? Is it the belief that God will punish you if you screw up, or the level of dependance upon the execution of the promise? Is it the loss of the magic surrounding words, or a laziness? Or is it something I've missed altogether?